Class Anthologies

Debra Drukarz

My Favourite Beach..

White sand soft as finely ground flour
Fringed by lapping cobalt sea, 
Sun, liquid, languid, luscious
Warming skin
Gentle waters swaddle the shoreline
Lulling into A dreamlike trance
Hypnotised, in a soft gaze stare time stands still  
Luxuriate in cosseted bliss

Let me Explain how…

No complex formulae
Fiddly stagesIngredients once measured
Plopped in together
No need for order, fuss
Ignore the humongous calorific content
honey syrup oil and sugar
Imbue with blessings and
Oodles of love
Pour the mixture into the mould,bake for 50 minutes, fan 180
Love permeates
Each soft succulent morsel

The Shape and Feel of Things..
Feed my need for touch
Experience the surface, textureUnder my fingers
against the skin of my cheek

Today my small victory is…
Observe from a distance, separate
Live Without
Self criticism

When I sleep I hear…

Her voice
Her turn of phrase, inflection
Her laughter, self generated
From the jokes she tells
When I sleep I smell
Her fragrant scent
Her heady perfume
My dad said drove men wild
When I sleep I feel
Her skin now crepey and so very thin,
Still soft to the touch

When I sleep I see
Her eyes, vacant 
Looking but not seeing

She squeezes my hand
Look its just an ordinary..Day,Lists to be madeChores to be doneMeals to be cookedMouths to be fedTime to be passed
Sounds like…The swish of the squidgy washing the  bathroom floorThe tired ticking of the grandfather clockIn my aunt’s front hall
The desperate cry of the babyGulping down airThe sharp burst of the balloonShattering the silence
The gentle falling of the rainPitter pattering on my windowThe endless snoringKeeping me up at night

23rd September 20Letter PoemsThe street is quite ordinary, tarmac drives andBroken pavementsG’ma Chatima Tova my lovelyPlease forgive me all my sins andI pray we look forward to the New Year with a clear headAnd much shared nachos from our Ever growing families
B’shaa tova, the new baby is coming A wedding what mazel!
MosesI bet when you look at what Judaism is today it seems quite different to your understanding all those moons ago. Our people are still subversive, divided and disobedient. Taking so much to find peace amongst themselves, ever elusive. Reform, Orthodox, Masorati, Charredi.
Well you had the golden calf, so I know you can sympathise with the dissenters and trouble makers, differences of opinion, confusion, muddlers and revisionists. If it wasn’t so damaging to our identity it would be laughable.
I’m not very good at humour but perhaps at this time of year, I need to be lighter on myself.
Al Chet feels all too heavy …..
Debra Dear,Your heavy heart should be bouncy and light, fluffy and natural, energetic and positive.
I use the word “should” purposefully, as giving up hope is not a Jewish option. Look at me, I was always hopeful, believed and stood firm to my principles and faith.
Life is to be enjoyed, not taken so seriously, chill out as the kids say in your vernacular.
Here they come again….Through the murky waterUnder the bridgeTraffic hurtling above
Rain down the breadcrumbsHitting me on the headMy stomach aching already, over stuffed
Watching the breadcrumbs fall from my hand..If only obliterating my sins was so easy, just letting them goAt least the fish are getting nourishment from the symbolsOf my wrongdoing
What a Strange Scene…In this dreary bleak grey and polluted streamTo watch a person stop and take the time to feed the fish.How kind and yes I see there are fish living in these murky waters. Who would have thought. Life is everywhere. Surrounding us and acts of generosity, and kindness observe.
Brings a smile to my face and warms my heart.

My Darling Mummy..We ask the Almighty to bless you, to show you how much we love you. How much we enjoy your cooking and how you make us laugh with your inability to tell a joke. Your ability to laugh at your own very unfunny jokes. Your laughter, not your words making us laugh and our hearts sing.
Mummy we ask the Almighty to help you feel our love with all your heart, all your soul and all your might. 
My Daring Debra..I bless you with all my heart, I pray you know how much you are loved and valued and that you are making an important contribution, and an impact on this world. 
May your love of colour fill your soul, and your studies feed your brain, and your words of encouragement be heard, not only by others but you too, so that you can feel whole, and good and loved and cherished and blessed for good.
May you continue to nourish yourself and your family. 
Bless Me…SelfTo accept my essenceWith love and affectionTo love the skin that I’m inThe person that I am
I have taught my children to….
To think for themselvesTo know their originsUnderstand the choreography of our faithSocial moresMoral compassEthical path
I have taught my children toThink for themselvesDecide their own paths
Now I must learn to let them do soTrust them and let go
Whatever you say I feel…
Lol that’s not my truthI have a voiceA brain, myOwn hopes and aspirations
I am not in your imageAnd you certainly don’t know meStop. Let me Be…
In fact that’s not rightI don’t need you to let meBeI AmWith or without your approval

I felt…AshamedHiding my face like JonahDrawing myself inwardShrinking, untilI’m folding in on myselfThere is nothing leftNothing to giveKnowing not how to giveJust taking, denying their Delicate potentialities
Dear X..Did you notice when you last came to visitThe light streaming down on us, haloed our headsAs we chuckled together in the last of the winter sun, As if in collusion our bodies closing in on each other,Heads touching, Forming a heart shape, in unisonTo my mind’s eye
Speaking with one voice An intimacy beyond words 

Wednesday, 30th September 2020Talk to my houseAlways welcoming, cosy and warmBursting with colour and lightMy canvas external representation of myInner worldFilled with plenty, abundantGuarding and protecting
As I enter your doorI breath in deeply, exhaleA long sighRelief, joy to return
Here I belongam protectedsense permanence, lacked
You coddle meIn a bricks and mortar embracePresence strong, impactful, enduringNot about to leg it, disappear dissolve
You Make me feel concreteSolidly plant my rootsSomewhere I finally belong
I find in you humourAnd unconditional love
You anchor me andAll my thingsMementos, books and nonsensical treasuresHarbouring vintage precious ghosts ofPast celebrations, grief sharedIntimate moments
 Walls stay silent, not answering   Back or judging   The odd creak and crack   Reminding you too need care
 The silence held is full of wordsEncouragement, nourishmentFeeding my soulAllowing me to recharge